Why the husband is not the head of the family

Why the husband is not the head of the family


With the high rate of failed marriages in the world today, even amongst Christians, there is an urgent need to better understand the concept called marriage.


In the beginning, God created man and he called the man Adam. Then God saw that it was not good for man to be alone, and so he created a woman. God asked them to procreate after their own likeness.


God gave Adam a direct instruction not to eat from the tree of knowledge of good and evil. Adam passed the instruction to his wife, Eve. The devil infiltrated the family through Eve and they both ate from the tree.


God came down in the evening for an oversight function and discovered that something had gone wrong in the family. He summoned Adam to find out what transpired in the family. Adam in his response to God’s query, blamed his wife for the family dislocation.


But God in his final judgment, decided to punish every party involved in the disobedience.


The above narration clearly showed that the man – Adam did not have the final say of what happened in his family. He was answerable to God. You will notice that God did not call a family meeting to give instruction and did not call a family meeting to enquire about what had transpired.


He called Adam alone for questioning. It was Adam that invited Eve to the meeting by mentioning her name.


God never intended the husband to be the head of the family. He only made the husband the head of the wife.


Ephesians 5:23-24 “For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of his body, the church. As the church submits to Christ, soย you wives should submit to your husbands in everything.”


The husband is the head of the wife. This simply means that the wife submits to the husband’s authority.


Husbands are like the CEO of the family and he is a member of the board of directors. The board consists of the trinity and the husband. Board is the governing body of the family unit. The board determines how a family should be run, while the husband is allowed to implement the board resolutions with the help of the Holy Spirit. The wife is expected to help the husband in the running of the family, based on the guidelines approved by the board.


When the husband dies (physically or spiritually), Godย promotes the wife to the board.


The wife can also be summoned to the board at any time, especially when the husband is falling short. Information must flow constantly from the board through the husband to the family. Where the husband cannot receive instructions, it is passed to the wife for onward delivery to the husband for approval before execution.


A wife is not expected to take major decisions without the husband’s approval.

The first decision a wife ever took without the approval of her husband, was what destroyed mankind. If the husband had checked with God even after the wife had erred, maybe there would have been a remedy. But he also acted without the board’s approval.


The husband is the family priest. Every priest must take direction from a higher authority to function well. In the case of a Christian home, the Lord is the authority.


Whenever the husband decides to run the family without the help of the Holy Spirit, the enemy comes in.


The devil will forever be wiser than man. And the devil hates the family unit. He is always looking for ways to break every family.


It becomes very difficult for a wife to submit to her husband when the husband refuses to submit to God in the family structure. This leads to problems in the family. It is the Holy Spirit that inspires submission in marriage.


Most family problems can be traced to the relationship between the husband and God who is the head of the family.


It takes the Holy Spirit to make a home work. The required wisdom to run a home can only come from God. Even while it may seem that all is well in the family where God is not the head, the truth is that such a family is in trouble.


Thus saith the Lord to me “marriage is hard, you people should not make it harder”. God told me this personally. He was referring to my wife and me.

Great fear has creeped into marriage because the world has redefined the concept of marriage. People now live through marriage with a constant preparation for divorce. Husband and wife having separate contingentย plans. “Just in case the marriage fails”.


The Triangle Concept

The triangle concept says that for a family to succeed, God must be at the tip of the triangle, while the husband and the wife are at the opposite sides of the bottom.ย The closer the husband and the wife are to God, the closer they will be to each other. This is the secret of a godly home.

Society has totally collapsed because God no longer presides over most homes. The devil has sneaked into the family unit and he is destroying it from within. Couples relate in marriages today like business partners. There are now too many “what ifs” in marriages.

What if we divorce tomorrow, who will take the house? What if he decides to marry another wife?

All these are because the foundation is not strong in God.


We must go back to the foundation if we must take back society from the devil. The high level of ungodliness in the society can be traced to a dislocated family unit, where God does not reign supreme.


Men must surrender their families to God immediately before it is too late.

Watch this space for more.



Osoria Asibor

ยฉ๏ธ February 2022



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